On May 7th, I celebrated 3 years of continous sobriety.

There were countless times over the years in the midst of severe alcoholism where I dreamed of staying sober for just one day.

I remember when I received my termination letter from my former employer on July 4th, 2007. After reading this letter a couple of times I recall that I felt some relief in that they didn’t cite my drinking as a reason for firing me.

I can still remember to this day how sick, disgusted and ashamed of my condition I was. I wanted out of all of it but didn’t know how to start. My primary coping was alcohol abuse and it had stopped working for me.

I was afraid to share with anyone just how much I was really hurting and how ashamed I was of me. I thought I was a failure in life. Instead, I chose to isolate and drink more. I became my own worst mental, spiritual and emotional abuser.

Fear became my life. How could I begin to heal without telling someone about my fears and the shame I was carrying?

In July of 2008 I went to my first treatment for alcoholism. It didn’t stick but the seed was planted. I would return to treatment again in 2013, 2014 and 2018. I simply wouldn’t give up…

I wanted to stay sober, but I just didn’t know how to do it. I was simply afraid of so many things such as: