‘Fear Became My Life’

In this article I discuss my 6 step plan to move through my fears one step at a time.

Fear, doubt, and uncertainty controlled me and ultimately led me into alcoholism. In this article I discuss more about how these factors contributed to me becoming alcoholic and how I move through fear today one moment and one day at a time.

At 53 years of age, I can now look back and accept the fact that there were so many times when I acted from a place of fear. Whether you suspected it or not I lived in fear for decades. I constantly used past experiences to gauge how I should feel and react towards a present situation. I thought my past had power over the present when my emotional security felt threatened.

I became a people pleaser and initially I felt accepted by others. Eventually, I wanted something in return for these efforts. What I wanted was emotional intimacy When I got approval and felt validated, then I simply wanted more and more. And when I didn’t get a reciprocal effort, I felt angry, disappointed, betrayed, and sometimes I felt abandoned and drown in self-pity. If these feelings persisted long enough, then I became resentful. This cycle eventually created enough shame that often I doubted my self worth and would often seek safety by isolating from others.

I became my biggest resentment and therefore my biggest obstacle in life. My inner self…